The American president says he spoke recently to the Chinese president, Xi Jinping. The latter denies the information. It would therefore be an imaginary call. Here is another, between Donald Trump and the Russian president. The dialogue may be fictitious. The list of measures mentioned by Trump is unfortunately not.
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Vladimir: Well, Donald is time to take stock of the 100 days.
Donald: I had 100 %, it’s more than any president of the history of the universe!
Vladimir: We calm down! Let’s review the tasks we discussed last year.
Donald: I have the list in front of me.
Vladimir: Our Facebook interventions had helped you a lot for your election in 2016, but Joe Biden had set up teams that blocked our work.
Donald: It was my priority. In one of my first decrees, I dismantled the FBI special group which had the precise task of preventing your influencers from operating on our territory. I also dismantled the cybersecurity unit which was busy preventing your hackers from interfere in the electoral process. I suspended all the funding that coordinated electoral security between cities, states and Washington. You have free field.
Vladimir: This is important, because we will have to do their maximum to have your candidates in the mid-term elections elected in the fall next year. Your prices-Besides, thank you for sparing us-are very good for destroying the reputation of the United States in the world, but that can make you lose the House of Representatives.
Donald: You will see, by then, it will work so well that they will thank me.
Vladimir: We will talk about it. Have you also dismantled the machines that promote the democracy virus, such as the National Endowment for Democracy, the International Republican Institute, the National Democratic Institute and the Bureau of Human Rights within the State Department?
Donald: Absolutely, all that is dead or dying. And I also closed our propaganda instrument, Voice of America, and cut $ 9 billion a year of international development aid.
Vladimir: Yes, I saw, and it helps us a lot to arouse antiamericalism in all the southern countries which counted on this medical and food aid. But you went there strongly by also cutting the epidemics’ prevention programs. It could spread to us!
Donald: we no longer have any health problems at USARobert Kennedy Jr. takes care of it. Do you want me to lend it to you?
-Vladimir: Especially not! But let’s continue the list. We make enormous progress in our disinformation programs, everywhere on the planet, but Biden harmed us.
Donald: The 40 specialists who worked at the Counter Foreign Information Manipulation and Interference Hub were fired and the 80 contracts were torn apart from the people who were helping them. Your influencers – and those of China and Iran – now have the free field, with us as elsewhere.
Vladimir: It’s perfect. I also saw that your defense secretary had put an end to your cyber defense and cyber attack program towards us. It is an American unilateral disarmament, I like it.
Donald: Yes, it was on the list. I also closed the office which took care of grasping the assets of your Russian oligarch friends, I withdrew the United States of the group which investigated your soldiers responsible for the invasion in Ukraine and your war crimes in Ukraine, and I frozen the funds of the project which tried to find the tens of thousands of Ukrainian children whom you have kidnapped and scattered in Russia.
Vladimir: Not bad, not bad. Our match plan for victory in Ukraine is going very well. You abused Zelensky in the oval office, you have treated him a dictator, you have established that his country would never be in NATO and would never find the territories that I have conquered. We advance.
Donald: Yes, we are in the final phase. As expected, I pretend to be unhappy that one cannot arrive at a ceasefire, so I withdraw from the discussion and the facts to lose interest in it. So, we move on to something else, therefore to the normalization of my relations with you.
Vladimir: Exact. And as you withdraw your military aid from Ukraine and that Europeans cannot fully compensate, I will be able to progress a few kilometers a year, up to kyiv. Maintaining my country in a permanent state of war is the best way to ensure my power, as Bibi does in Israel.
Donald: As we withdraw from the file, we will be able to raise our sanctions against you and take back our business and our investments in your oil fields, it will considerably increase your income. But don’t forget: as we discussed in 2016, you let me open a Trump Tower in Moscow.
Vladimir: That’s it, that’s it, we look at the plans. But you, you are committed to being invited to the G7.
Donald: I don’t think I can be invited to the G7 this year, it’s in Canada. I do not have the impression that they will be an American state by June.
Vladimir: Sure. But, next year, it’s your turn to invite, right?
Donald: Yes, and I will do what I was prevented from doing during my first mandate and holding the meeting in Mar-A-Lago.
Vladimir: If the other members of the G7 refuse to come?
Donald: We will be seven: you, me, the Chinese XI, the Argentinian Milei, the Hungarian Orbán, the Turkish Erdogan, and my great North Korean friend, Kim Jong-un!
To watch in video
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